Dangerous Actions
by Seth O. Blade
Summary: Ranma is sick of it, so he goes to find help with an unlikely friend. OneShot. Possible Series. M because of vulgar terms and nightmarish suggestions. A Fic an Hour challenge. OOC. Sequel on indefinite hold.


Ranma ½: Dangerous Actions

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This is a one shot, nothing much, but it happens a year after the failed wedding and may turn into a series if I can get a partner to help write it out.

Here I go…

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Ranma was sick of it and was close to snapping, she had been fighting and even though she knew her grades were high despite her sleeping in class, she had failed High School, how, she didn't know, but she suspected that Nabiki had been paid by Genma to bribe the school to fail Ranma so she couldn't get into Medical School. She had enough and even though she had trained extensively in Martial Arts and was the best for the past five generations, had defeated a Phoenix God, defeated a Dragon Prince, become Grandmaster of the Anything Goes and booted the two idiots from the Martial Arts school, he had kept Akane in case she could change, but she only got more violent for nothing at all, Akane yawned while she spoke to her and didn't say a word even though she was watching, but when she yawned not five minutes later, she was belted through the wall. On top of that, today just happened to be the third month that her mother had requested that she spend as a girl for a year, she had the last two years of selective school to go and she had failed to get the grades to get into the last two years while Akane gloated over it and she was getting close to killing someone.

As Ranma walked, she thought about the three years she had been in Nerima and frowned to herself, she had enough dirt on the people here to put them out of commission and even had dated negatives and written reports she had taken from Nabiki's room on her dealings with herself, that included evidence of underaged pornography of her girl body, and it was illegal to do it since Otaku-Ranma and Onna-Ranma were the same people as can be attested to by ninety percent of Nerima who aren't cowed by Genma and Soun and thirty percent of those that aren't part of Nabiki's little ring, she even had evidence of unofficial betting which was illegal, you had to have a legal betting license and Ranma knew she didn't have one.

Cologne was something else though, when it became known to her that she was spending a year as a girl and even had accepted it, Cologne had quickly made a telephone call and gotten back to her a week later, taking her on as an apprentice in the Amazon Arts as she was a War Mistress, focussing on the library of dangerous arts that were Amazonian, Shampoo was little more than a political heir, she was heir to the Art. When Cologne found that she had also wanted to study healing and medicine, a Healing Mistress had been asked to some over by the name of Tsu Pid, Moose's mother, and when Ranma asked is her name was Stupid, she was bopped on the head quite hard and taught Mandarin so she wouldn't bastardise the names any more.

Shampoo had also accepted that Ranma, while male, was also a female and was most likely going to be the only male Matriarch in the Amazon history, but it was accepted that if they couldn't get her by marriage, they would get her by adoption, so she had been named Shampoo's Amazonian Shield-Sister and as a Healer, it made her immune to persecution and allowed her to travel between the three Jusenkyo tribes, and since Herb owed her lots, he had sent someone over with scrolls on how he had been able to fly without wings and techniques, saying that it was a peace offering, Saffron was different, even though he was killed and reborn, he still held some affection for the young Martial Artist slash Healer and sent Kiiama over with scrolls on their healing techniques which required lots of Ki ability and chi manifestation of immense proportions, but agreed that it was something that they all wanted lest she turned against them.

So now, Ranma was looking at the things she had collected, and, using the Umi-Sen-Ken, she had taken select documents that described, in detail, her dealings with the her girl body and her guy body, selling barely there photos of skin, often showing private areas which guaranteed her life in jail or a substantial fee to be paid to the government and to herself in order to get out of jail, and the extortion would get her thirty years at the least for her alone, then there was the betting and information selling, while information selling wasn't illegal, invasion of privacy and inciting riots were, so she would be lucky if she got out of jail when she was three hundred if she survived that long.

Genma could be charged for gross negligence, theft, child abuse, child abandonment, torture, child negligence, breaking and entering, grand larceny, fraud and money laundering and several other charges including prostitution of children and abuse of power over a minor. He wouldn't even have a chance to get out of jail.

Soun for child negligence, child prostitution, theft and several minor crimes. He would come out with a hefty fine, but nothing the Tendo Family Trust couldn't handle.

Akane was likely to get anger management classes, charges for unintentional poisoning, attempted murder, abuse and minor charges that would put her away for several years.

Nodoka would get a hefty fine for child abandonment, child abuse, child abuse and likely to go to an asylum for people with mental disorders or addictions.

Ukyo would likely go to jail for attempted homicide and attempted rape, as her father would go to jail for child abuse, abandonment and child prostitution.

Now all she had to do was call them all in sans Amazons who were protected by China because they were doing what their tribe has been doing for three thousand years and was a national treasure.

She sighed as she looked at the large tome that held official copies, Cologne holding the originals and Shampoo and Moose who were protecting her as a Shield-Sister and Healer, she also had several other charges going to several others, but they were not the immediate people she was going to attack, and Happosai was too powerful to hold in a jail. She sighed again and opened the gates to the Tendo Home, pushed the doors open and roared out with a Ki enhanced voice filled with a Fear Aura that Happosai used often enough by projecting his power outwards "**FAMILY MEETING IN THE DINING ROOM! NOW!**"

Genma and Soun were there in a flash, bowing down low, apologising to the Master, Ranma kicked them and pointed to the room making them squeak at her furious face and run for the room, cowering in the corners of the room. Nabiki came in and took one look at her and squeaked, ran into the room and sat at the table, breathing heavily. Akane was next, coming straight for the dojo, took one look at Ranma and charged her with a mallet in hand which Moose stopped with a mace and flinged her into the room, landing her in the wall. Ranma nodded with a small smile of thanks to which he bowed in humble thanks, though under his breath, you could hear him say "I always wanted to do that to her."

Giggling, Ranma made her way into the room and took a look around the room and pointed to the two in the corner then to the table and they rushed there quickly. Sitting down after Moose and Shampoo , Ranma placed a heavy book that she gathered from a pocket space and slammed it onto the table, looking down at it, smirking widely at the glares she was receiving and making them all falter. Ukyo arrives and took one look around the room, saw Ranma and tried to grab her in a hug which failed when Moose stopped her with the mace he still hadn't put away "you will leave Healer Pai Lhon alone!" he nearly screamed, but settled for a frosty tone.

Ukyo sat down quickly and waited. That was when Ranma then noted that P-Chan was in Akane's arms and nodded to Shampoo who grabbed a tea kettle and a robe which was handed to her by Moose and gripped the pig, put it in the robes and poured hot water on him, changing the pig into Ryoga who tried to escape but was stopped by Moose who placed a sword against his throat "Healer Pai Lhon has something she wishes to say" he said icily making Ryoga sit down despite the angry glares he got from Akane.

Ranma opened the first page and pulled out a manila folder, glancing at the giggling Shampoo "I still say is too too bad idea for Shield-Sister Pai Lhon to be doing that."

Ranma just shrugged and opened the folder, and said "I am ordering Ryoga Hibiki to never return to the Tendo household again and to never seek any fights or seek me unless I specifically go to see him or a Tendo allows you inside the house," Ryoga made to object but stopped when he was handed a sheet of paper by Moose and went stark white, sitting there numbly "Soun Tendo, you will break this engagement between the Saotome and Tendo houses unless I myself ask for an engagement to one of your daughters and they accept," Soun made to object but was handed a sheet of paper that Shampoo held out to him and paled to the point where he was in shock "Akane Tendo, our engagement is broken, you will refrain from hitting me, take anger management sessions and cooking lessons" Akane was about to blow up, but looked at the sheet that was thrust in front of her face by Shampoo and sat down, gripping it and looking at it with wide eyes and a pale face much to Shampoo's amusement.

"Always want do that to Kitchen Destroyer Woman" Shampoo said with a smug grin.

"Genma Saotome, you will break every single engagement, surrender to me the Head of Saotome Clan status and pay back every Yen for every contract you have broken twofold, to pay back for the theft and to say you are sorry," Genma stood up to protest but was beaten to the floor by Shampoo's bonbori and had a piece of paper thrust into his hands "Ukyo Kuonji, you will refrain from speaking to me, coming within fifty feet of myself or Genma Saotome and cease this engagement, if, in one year, I wish to marry you, I will, but not until then," Ukyo was about to meekly protest but stopped in shock and horror when a sheet was handed to her by Moose and the three grinned at Nabiki who was in shock, obviously knowing that she was next as Ranma slowly turned the page to reveal a thick folder and say again as everyone watched "Nabiki Tendo, you will cease all business transactions with your clients immediately, you will give me every single Yen you owe me from selling my pictures at school and to Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno, you will cease making pictures of me in either form, you will return what money you can to the people who have paid you within the last month, you will also cease speaking to me or coming to see me unless I come see you, you will rectify the bribes you made to the teachers about my grades and have them give me a test again, you will cease all blackmail, extortion and information dealing immediately and you will immediately stop bribing everyone, you will also stop giving information of any sorts unless it is one hundred percent truthful or I will know" at this, the three shoved the thick folder at her and she read the pages, her face becoming stark white before she finished the page and was unconscious by the time she had reached the bottom of the first page.

Moose grinned at her "you know, Healer Pai Lhon, I really wanted to see that happen myself, too bad I couldn't do it myself."

Ranma shrugged and grinned at the stock silence when Kasumi asked in a serious voice for her "what is going on here?"

Ranma simply said "I am getting revenge on them for all that they have done and am correcting their mistakes by taking control of the situation, I also simply placed some conditions in which details will never come to light that they have to follow completely lest they wind up in a bad situation."

Kasumi reached down to Nabiki's folder and picked it up, glancing through it before looking sternly at Ranma "that's not very nice Ranma" she scolded gently.

Shampoo and Moose looked ready to explode, but Ranma stopped them with a look "and what, exactly, is not nice about this Kasumi?"

She looked at him sternly and said in a scolding tone "you shouldn't tell lies about people."

Ranma raised her eyebrow and said "you want a lie Kasumi Tendo?" she asked in a soft and harsh tone that made others back away in shock and Kasumi blink owlishly "I will give you a lie then, I am happy to be living in this home with all of you, I love Akane with every fibre of my being, I hate Shampoo and Moose, I loath the Amazons and love my father so much and respect his every word, I value my family honour above my own personal honour and I wish I could be best friends with all of you forever, I wand nothing more that to marry Akane and have Nabiki and you as my Sister-in-Laws, I want Soun Tendo as a Father-in-Law and I love every second I have been here in Nerima and my life while I was a just a guy was the best in the world and I was perfect in everyone's eyes, I don't have a lying, thieving, prostituting con artist for a father who does everything a father should do and is the absolute best father in the world who we can all learn to be good from and I have no problems with Akane's small temper tantrums and she is not a spoilt little trash bag slut who sleeps with four guys on average every week and Nabiki isn't a slut who whores herself off for a few Yen, your father isn't a miserable bastard who can't find his own spine because he lost it decades ago and both fathers aren't scumbags who would just as soon whore their children off so they can live the high life while we toil and work ourselves to the bone just for a few Yen and hardly anything to eat and won't sell us out the first chance they get when we get married and I haven't learnt from several Masters of very destructive techniques that could cut through ten sheets of solid steel and I haven't mastered the Neko-ken because my father taught me that it was unbeatable and Elder Cologne hasn't helped me out any more than everyone else in this entire house when I was upset or on the verge of a nervous breakdown!" she panted from having spoken for too long and sucked in a breath, roaring out "**AND I NEVER FELT LIKE I WAS UNWELCOMED BY ANYBODY IN THIS HOUSE AND ALWAYS FELT SAFE AND THIS IN NOT A PIECE OF TRASH HOUSE THAT I WOULD SEEONER BLOW UP BECAUSE OF TWO IDIOTIC MORONS WHO DECIDED TO WHORE OFF THEIR CHILDREN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO RETIRE IN THE HIGH LIFE!**"

Shampoo took her outside as tears began to flow from the red haired girls eyes and Moose was left sitting there, glaring at their shocked looks and said in a disgusted tone "I hope you are happy, you just alienated one of the best fighters and healers in the world and you pushed her away with your actions."

Nabiki recovered from her shock as Kasumi was crying on the floor with deep and heavy sobs "and what about you? You did the same, if not worse to Ranma."

"That is Pai Lhon of the Lhon Clan from the Amazon Tribe Joketsu, and yes, I may have done that, but I have sworn myself to be her bodyguard as she is a Healer in Training and she has the potential to be one of the best Matriarchs that our tribe has seen in a while, I go where she goes and protect her just as Shampoo is her Shield-Sister, she has a sister and a friend who care for her, but what are you all?" he paused to take a breath and said as he noticed them start to speak up "you care nothing about her except to use her to your own ends, I may have reasons for swearing my life to her, and selfish reasons, but they are not all selfish, I also put my honour forwards and she accepted to have me as her Life Guardian, I am also her teacher in the Hidden Weapons technique which is exclusive to my family as repayment for my transgressions against her," he paused to let this sink in "and none of you are worthy to call her friend, let alone family" he finished coldly and walked out of the room, picking up the book as he left.

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Authors Notes:

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Well, how does it sound? I want to continue with this story, but I want a partner to co-write it, something tells me that it could be a huge hit. Before you all bust me, this is just an outline of something I had cooking up recently, that, and it was written in one hour for a Fic an Hour challenge by someone who sent me a PM and it looked like a good idea at the time.

Oh well…

See ya!


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